Thursday, September 9, 2010

GOD, please help GRANDMA

I paid grandma a visit this morning. I "prepare" myself (emotionally) since yesterday, I constanly remind myself not cry...

Grandma replied me with a smile when I called her, I wonder she recognise me. Aunt said she knows, just that she is too weak to reply, her mind is still clear. Grandma is now like a baby, she likes people to visit her and she always smile when the visitors call her. She is getting weaker each day...

There are lots of huge blisters all over her body (not sure what's the cause) and also bedsores, she is definitely in great pain. However, Grandma is a tough woman, she never complain or make any noise, she handle all the pain by herself:( I held my tears as I don't want Grandma to cry with me (like my previous visit), it will take up a lot of her energy. I tried, I really tried very hard but...

Mum said all of us must "let go" - she told Grandma that Grandpa is waiting for her in the heaven, she needs not worry about us as she can still "see" us up there.

Grandma is very skinny. Initially the blisters started on her feet, it is moving upwards, now seems like her throat is affected as well (she has difficulties to eat). There are plenty of open wounds, as the blisters burst. Her skin on both legs turn black and it is moving to her upper body.

I cried when I said goodbye as after each visit I worry that it will be the last.
I am crying when I'm writing this blog as I can feel that she is in great pain constantly.
I will cry when I think of her as she sacrifice so much for the family and she loves us unconditionally.

I miss her fantastic cooking skills... I miss her touch... I miss her smile... I even miss her nagging...

GOD, please help GRANDMA!!
Please do your best so that she won't suffer anymore...

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

How Well You Know Your Teacher

In a place call FanTaSia,
where shoes are a form of FanTaSy,
now imagine yourself in my shoes,
if the shoes fit it is certainly FanTaStic.